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Archive for the Category "Filipino Logic and How They Think"

Eat Bulaga! Juan for All, All for Juan Jan 11

Eat Bulaga! Juan for All, All for Juan

So I was uploading videos to You Tube for my father’s website and at around 2 PM Jenn yells for me to come down. My first thought was,

“NOW WHAT DOES SHE WANT?”

Lately she’s been calling me down to help her with the baby, who has been sick, and it’s getting a bit nerve wracking because I can’t get anything done. At any rate I go downstairs and she tells me how they’re making fun of someone on TV and she figured I would be interested. Normally, she would be wrong but once I realized what was going on I figured it would make a great post and well….here it is.

So, I start watching it and I ask a few questions and find out that on Eat Bulaga’s Juan for All, All for Juan segment they are visiting the house of a British guy and his Filipina wife who live in the Pasig section of Manila.

Eat Bulaga is a popular daytime TV show (on the GMA network) in the Philippines. The Juan for All, All for Juan segment features two comedians (Jose Manalo and Wally Bayola) who travel to the home of a lucky winner and bring them prizes like cash, gift certificates, free groceries, etc…

Jose Manalo and Wally Bayola

Jose Manalo and Wally Bayola

So anyway, this poor guy is sitting there with his wife and all these kids are around and everyone is happy and smiling and this poor guy is trying to be a good sport about it all but his smile gets increasingly more and more fake. You can tell he’s not happy to be in this situation.

They were asking him a ton of questions about his finances, his living situation etc… Then they start in making fun of him some and doing the typical “I am getting a nosebleed.” routine Filipinos do when they have to speak English because they’re talking to a foreigner. I can sympathize with the guy because I’ve been in similar situations and it’s all rather childish.

Filipinos have this tendency to slip back into Tagalog when they don’t have to speak English. Some will speak English around a foreigner just to show they’re smart or educated or whatever the reason is. Again, it’s rather childish but that’s how they act in those situations.  Two lines they use often are,

  • “Don’t English me I’m panic.” which is supposed to be a joke.
  • “Nosebleed” as if having to speak English is hurting their brain or something and it causes a nosebleed. This is also a joke but sometimes I wonder.
And if you try talking to them in Tagalog they will laugh and giggle like little kids. I guess it’s funny for them to hear a foreigner speaking Tagalog. I have no idea why other than to repeat my comment about them being childish. I mean you don’t see Americans or British or anyone laughing when a Filipino speaks English so why do Filipinos find it funny when a foreigner speaks Tagalog other than to just assume they’re being childish?
(An interesting side note to that is one of my students from China did the same thing to me this morning when I said the Chinese word for Cell Phone to her during class. She started to giggle like a schoolgirl so maybe it’s an Asian thing. I don’t know.)
If you’d like to watch the full segment here is where you can see it.

 

They just don’t think do they? Jan 09

It was between 11 AM and noon on Sunday, the 9th of January 2012 and Jenn starts yelling up to me to shower. Having been in this situation with her before I asked if the kids had showered yet and she tells me,

“It’s raining.”

It’s raining? Where? In the CR? What’s rain got to do with it?

So then I ask if my hot water is made so I can shower because we don’t have an inline hot water heater.  Well, of course it’s not so I say,

“Why are you yelling at me to shower if you didn’t make me water yet?”

So I go down…I fill the teapot and put it on the stove….meanwhile, my daughter Nikki gets naked and goes in the CR to shower. SO MUCH FOR NOT GIVING THE KIDS A SHOWER!!!

The really sad thing is that was the 3rd idiot move of the day unless you count the medicine incident at 4 AM in which case it would be her fourth. LOL LOL

The 4 AM medicine blunder

The baby has a SLIGHT fever and as usual Jenn is making a big deal about it. Anyway, the baby was due for medicine at 1 AM but she was asleep. She (the baby) wakes up at 2AM and she and I were up untill 4 AM. I ask Jenn about the meds at 3AM but I got no reply from her. Then at 4 she decides to give it to her but the baby had fallen asleep.  So of course it doesn’t work out quite as well as I am sure she figured it would. I am sure she figured she could give the baby medicine without waking the kid up but….

Sleeping 8 month old baby + liquid medicine + 5 ounces of milk previously consumed = choking which leads to puking…ALL OVER THE NEWLY CHANGED BED SHEETS.

 

Filipino Math Dec 31

I just got home from an interesting adventure.  My friend John messages me on Yahoo earlier and asks me to go to store with him to buy an egg pie for New Years Eve. He know I am home alone tonight because Jenn is being a retard as usual and went to her mother’s. I am not complaining because I never really saw anything special about New Years in the Philippines and so I was content to have a nice quiet (except for the noise outside) night alone.

He tells me how his wife told him an egg pie costs no more than 500 pesos. Sensing this was a bit high he asks her to explain why she thinks it is so high. She tells him when she buys it by the slice it costs between 12-17 pesos per slice. So he splits the difference and does some math.

15 x 8 = 120          17 x 8 = 136          20 x 8 = 160

OK, so there is no way this will cost anywhere near 500 and he tells her that. Of course she realizes her error and says,

“Well, maybe it costs 27 pesos per slice.”

So once again John does some quick math because he’s still dubious.

27 x 8 = 216          30 x 8 = 240

Obviously, we’re still coming in way under 500 pesos here. We’re not even at half of 500 here. But he laughs and shakes his head as you have to do when living with a Filipina and makes his way to my house since I live closer to the gate and the jeepneys.

We are on the jeepney laughing and joking about his wife’s math skills and we arrive at Goldilocks (bakery chain store in the Philippines) and we go inside and we see the price is 200.  Let’s keep that a secret because when he got home he told her it costs 600 for the pie. LOL LOL LOL

At any rate after wrangling with the rocket scientist behind the counter to make sure he puts the right thing in the box we go up to the counter to pay and had to repeat to the guy what’s in the box like 3 times. Even the security guard is saying, “Egg pie!’ to the cashier. LOL LOL LOL

So the cashier is counting John’s change and is counting dropping 10 peso coins in John’s hand one at a time after already handing him a 500 peso and a 50 peso bill.

“550….560….570….5…80………………………5…..90”

I just had to laugh. The guy couldn’t figure out what came next and kept pausing as he is counting. It was the funniest thing considering what John and I were just talking about in regards to John’s wife. So with in an hour we had 2 Filipinos who couldn’t do simple math nor count.

So we get outside and we are joking about the rocket scientist cashier and he spots this vendor selling sparklers. He knows the price so as  a test to see if she’d charge him the “foreigner tax” he asks how much they are and of course she has to pause and think about the price.

Finally she blurts out that they are 4 boxes of 5 sparklers for 10 pesos. Then she adds on that the bundle of 10 boxes is 30 pesos. I just looked and smiled because that means to buy them as a package of 10 is going to cost more than it would to buy them as single boxes. HOW STUPID IS THAT? Usually, if you buy a bulk package you get a discount right?  So here she’s not only not giving us a discount for buying in bulk but she’s actually charging an extra 5 pesos because if you buy them as 4 boxes for 10 pesos then 10 boxes should only cost 25 pesos not 30.

Now we are laughing again because 3 separate Filipinos inside of an hour can not do simple math.

Cell Phone Feature Wish Dec 30

I was talking to a Filipino I used to work with and she told me that she wished her cell phone / mobile phone had a feature that let her send a voice message to someone because she was sometimes too lazy to type an SMS text message.

When she said this I started to laugh and then I asked her,

“Well, why don’t you just dial the number of the person you want to message and talk to them?”

I guess this had never occurred to her because she says to me,

” Yeah. I guess I could.  Couldn’t I?”

At this I had to laugh some more.  My first instinct was to think she was a moron or just absent minded but in actuality she’s a very smart girl. Obviously, living in the Philippines gives a person a much better understanding of Filipinos and how things are done here.

Filipinos will send texts (SMS text messages) a lot more often than they will make a phone call where as in the US and other countries we prefer to talk directly to the person opposed to taking the extra time and effort to send a text.

Why do they do this? Why do things the hard way? Well, usually I would say that’s their logic system but in this case there is  very good reason for it.  Simply put text messages are cheaper.

However, things are starting to change and that trend is starting to reverse itself but it’s slow going. With the advent of the unli-plans Filipinos are changing the way they use their phones.

What’s an unli-plan you ask? An unli-plan is when you pay a flat rate to either send an unlimited number of texts in a 24 hour period or you can make an unlimited number of calls in a 24 hour period.