So, the other night I went to a friend’s house to help him set up a bed frame.

(He and I had made a trade. I gave him the bed frame for his spare Oppo F7 phone, which I gave to my girlfriend as a birthday present. The phone was practically brand new and barely used.)

We used a tape measure to get some measurements so we could buy a piece of plywood that would lay on top of the slats and under the mattress. The idea is that the plywood would more evenly distribute his weight across the slats and it would also prevent the slats from digging into his back through the mattress.

He wrote the measurements down on a piece of paper.

74 3/4″ x 5 feet.

So, now he has these numbers written on a piece of scrap of paper along with a bunch of other scribbles and notes. As a result, trying to read it was not exactly easy.

A day or two passes and we go to the hardware store across the street from our subdivision.

Well, they have the wood, but they did not have a saw to cut it. A HARDWARE STORE WITH NO SAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before we learned about the saw, I watched him try to explain the measurements to the girl who works there. Now, I have dealt with this girl before and she is pretty sharp. However, it was still a struggle, because of the way it was written on the paper. One figure in inches and the other in feet. You could imagine the confusion that ensued.

Anyway, since they could not cut the wood for us, we took a walk to another hardware store down the street. They had the wood and they agreed to cut it for us.

So, I watched as he tried to explain these measurements AGAIN. Of course, confusion was the result again. So, I interjected myself and tried to get him to just say to them,

“74 by 60”

In other words, make life easy. seventy-four inches by sixty inches. Then, I changed it to

“Six feet by five feet.”

Seventy-two inches by 60 inches. Who cares if it is a little short. There is not much weight by his feet, so it is not a big deal if there are a couple of missing inches at the foot of the bed. Right?

So, let’s jump ahead a bit. He finally gets the measurement fiasco sorted out and chooses the type of plywood that he wants. We mill around a bit watching Heckle and Jeckle (the two Filipino store workers) try to cut this piece of plywood with a hacksaw. That did not work out too well, so one of them wises up and realizes that was the wrong tool. More accurately he realized that it was not working too well. So, he goes up to the counter and has his boss hand him the “well-used” rip saw from behind the counter.

They finally get it done and he and I set off to carry this large piece of wood back to his house. First of all, this was none too bright of an idea. We should have taken a minibus, instead, but neither of us thought of it. So, here we are trying to cross this busy street with this giant piece of wood that catches the wind like a kite.


We get it across the street without incident (sort of) and continue up the street dodging signs and parked cars and collapsed sidewalks and tires and this and that. I felt like I was navigating a war zone.

We get the wood back to his house, after a few short breaks to rest. It’s not that the wood was heavy. It was just awkward to carry and it put strain on our hands.

Getting back on track here. We get back to his house, get it inside and attempt to maneuver the wood up the stairs. With the first turn made we try to make the second turn. I get it into position and Ron slips himself into the bathroom to get a better angle on wood. This is when I realize and say,

“We should have had them cut it in half, instead.”

He just looks at me. HA HA HA HA HA

After some fancy maneuvering, we finally come to the conclusion that this was not going to happen. There just was not enough space and the wood was just too big. So, we get the wood back down the stairs and back outside.

One of us gets the idea that we can probably push it up to the second floor balcony and then haul it up and in through that door.


Well, success, but not without more fun and games.

I went inside the house and stood on the balcony. Ron lifts the wood and pushes it up to me. I grab it and pull it up. I saw the little ledge (formed by the balcony floor jutting out from under the  balcony wall. I figured I could rest the wood on that ledge while I waited for Ron to come inside and upstairs to help me get the wood over the wall, through the door and into the house. Unfortunately, I kept missing the ledge and my grip on the wood was becoming tenuous. Ron told me to lift it two inches higher and I did and found the ledge.

He heads inside and comes upstairs and helps me lift the wood over the wall, through the door and into the house. We maneuver the wood through the front room, through the hallway and into the bedroom.

Now, you would think we are home free from this point, right? LOL LOL LOL You’re a funny little optimist, aren’t you?

First, I had to wait for him to move some pillows, which was no big deal. However, you’d think that he would have had the area cleared in advance.

So, once he gets that one, we had to maneuver the plywood into position, which was easy enough. We get the mattress in place and he lays down to test it out. He gets comfortable and when he lifts himself to adjust his position we hear a cracking sound. He gets up (quickly) and we had to remove the mattress and the plywood to add a few more slats to strengthen it all up.

We put the plywood back down and the mattress and all was good from that point. Well, sort of. I still have to get the center line support (wood) pieces cut for him.

I guess it is working out fine, so far, without the center support. I am finishing up this article on December 3rd and we did all of that on November 30th. I have not heard any complaints from him since.

UPDATE: December 22, 2018

On December 17th, I had some errands to run, so I figured I would try to find and buy the two missing bolts for the bed. I stopped at three hardware stores. None of them had the bolts, but one of them was able to direct me to a store where I could buy them. Luckily it was within walking distance, as well.

So, that night I went to his house and we got both bolts installed.

Fully assembled bed