I just got home from an interesting adventure.  My friend John messages me on Yahoo earlier and asks me to go to store with him to buy an egg pie for New Years Eve. He know I am home alone tonight because Jenn is being a retard as usual and went to her mother’s. I am not complaining because I never really saw anything special about New Years in the Philippines and so I was content to have a nice quiet (except for the noise outside) night alone.

He tells me how his wife told him an egg pie costs no more than 500 pesos. Sensing this was a bit high he asks her to explain why she thinks it is so high. She tells him when she buys it by the slice it costs between 12-17 pesos per slice. So he splits the difference and does some math.

15 x 8 = 120          17 x 8 = 136          20 x 8 = 160

OK, so there is no way this will cost anywhere near 500 and he tells her that. Of course she realizes her error and says,

“Well, maybe it costs 27 pesos per slice.”

So once again John does some quick math because he’s still dubious.

27 x 8 = 216          30 x 8 = 240

Obviously, we’re still coming in way under 500 pesos here. We’re not even at half of 500 here. But he laughs and shakes his head as you have to do when living with a Filipina and makes his way to my house since I live closer to the gate and the jeepneys.

We are on the jeepney laughing and joking about his wife’s math skills and we arrive at Goldilocks (bakery chain store in the Philippines) and we go inside and we see the price is 200.  Let’s keep that a secret because when he got home he told her it costs 600 for the pie. LOL LOL LOL

At any rate after wrangling with the rocket scientist behind the counter to make sure he puts the right thing in the box we go up to the counter to pay and had to repeat to the guy what’s in the box like 3 times. Even the security guard is saying, “Egg pie!’ to the cashier. LOL LOL LOL

So the cashier is counting John’s change and is counting dropping 10 peso coins in John’s hand one at a time after already handing him a 500 peso and a 50 peso bill.

“550….560….570….5…80………………………5…..90”

I just had to laugh. The guy couldn’t figure out what came next and kept pausing as he is counting. It was the funniest thing considering what John and I were just talking about in regards to John’s wife. So with in an hour we had 2 Filipinos who couldn’t do simple math nor count.

So we get outside and we are joking about the rocket scientist cashier and he spots this vendor selling sparklers. He knows the price so as  a test to see if she’d charge him the “foreigner tax” he asks how much they are and of course she has to pause and think about the price.

Finally she blurts out that they are 4 boxes of 5 sparklers for 10 pesos. Then she adds on that the bundle of 10 boxes is 30 pesos. I just looked and smiled because that means to buy them as a package of 10 is going to cost more than it would to buy them as single boxes. HOW STUPID IS THAT? Usually, if you buy a bulk package you get a discount right?  So here she’s not only not giving us a discount for buying in bulk but she’s actually charging an extra 5 pesos because if you buy them as 4 boxes for 10 pesos then 10 boxes should only cost 25 pesos not 30.

Now we are laughing again because 3 separate Filipinos inside of an hour can not do simple math.